A Picture of Your Brain on Crack...
Tips on how to handle people with poor social skills:
5:30PM at work
Ring, ring!
Me: Hello, LANYTransplant speaking.
Verbal silence with some background noise for longer than a telemarketer's pause <=Tip #1: When calling others, answer promptly. It helps to pay attention.
Me: Hello?
Caller (harshly): Who is this?! <=Tip #2: This question is usually reserved for the receiver of the call to pose, not the caller. Refrain from calling when you don't know who you're calling.
Caller: Who are you?!! This is my boyfriend's phone. Why are you on it?! How did you get it? Did you just find a phone somewhere?! <=Tip #3: It's generally good practice to gather sufficient, definitive evidence before accusing the unsuspecting of cheating and then stealing.
Me: No, [you crazy bitch] this isn't your boyfriend's phone. This is LANYTransplant at [insert firm name]. You’ve dialed the wrong number, [you moron]! <=Tip #4: It’s best to imagine the bracketed, italicized words in your head rather than voice them aloud, as you are your firm’s representative when receiving calls on your work phone during work hours, even if you are talking to a crackhead. On a similar note, refrain from using the firm’s caller ID feature.
Caller: Hump! Click. <=Tip #5: When making a complete ass of yourself, you are unlikely to successfully transfer blame onto others. Apologies are a more appropriate response.
Tip #6=> Vent silently at work.
OMG! WTF! WTF! Seriously, wtf was that?!
5:30PM at work
Ring, ring!
Me: Hello, LANYTransplant speaking.
Verbal silence with some background noise for longer than a telemarketer's pause <=Tip #1: When calling others, answer promptly. It helps to pay attention.
Me: Hello?
Caller (harshly): Who is this?! <=Tip #2: This question is usually reserved for the receiver of the call to pose, not the caller. Refrain from calling when you don't know who you're calling.
Caller: Who are you?!! This is my boyfriend's phone. Why are you on it?! How did you get it? Did you just find a phone somewhere?! <=Tip #3: It's generally good practice to gather sufficient, definitive evidence before accusing the unsuspecting of cheating and then stealing.
Me: No, [you crazy bitch] this isn't your boyfriend's phone. This is LANYTransplant at [insert firm name]. You’ve dialed the wrong number, [you moron]! <=Tip #4: It’s best to imagine the bracketed, italicized words in your head rather than voice them aloud, as you are your firm’s representative when receiving calls on your work phone during work hours, even if you are talking to a crackhead. On a similar note, refrain from using the firm’s caller ID feature.
Caller: Hump! Click. <=Tip #5: When making a complete ass of yourself, you are unlikely to successfully transfer blame onto others. Apologies are a more appropriate response.
Tip #6=> Vent silently at work.
OMG! WTF! WTF! Seriously, wtf was that?!
posted by LANYTransplant at 5:40 PM
3 Comments:
Haha, that happened to me once. I think it was the same woman too. I feel sorry for the boyfriend!
Boyfriend: “Honey, I swear, that was my MOM.”
Girlfriend: “YOU LIAR!!!”
you shouldve at least curse the sh!t out of her at work :)
Then I would be violating tip #4.
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