Stripper Shoes
A couple of months ago, I ran across a summer sale clothing catalog from Victoria's Secret and decided to browse through their dresses and shoes to see if anything would interest me. Their sale prices were so great and their items so cute that I found myself ordering a short sleeved cardigan, white shirtdress, PJ set and closed-toed pumps all for only about $120 with free shipping!
Why so cheap? Because everything is cheap. All of the items were of such poor quality and ill fit that I ended up returning every item except for the cardigan. The shirtdress was huge on me, somewhat see-through and bore a striking resemblance to a lab coat. It just hung straight down with absolutely no shape. The PJ set was also huge (supposedly it should shrink to fit you after a wash or two) and felt like it would fall apart after a couple of washes. Yet, these items looked so fabulous in the catalogs, but I guess anything you put on a super tall, super skinny, ample chested woman with perfect skin and bone structure is bound to look great.
For some reason, though, I failed to notice that the closed-toed pumps that I bought for work looked like stripper shoes and didn't include them in my return shipment. About a month and a half later, I ran across the box of shoes as the Fiancee and I were packing things up for our move. I tried them on again and noticed that the heel was a lot higher than I remembered, the fit a lot tighter and the coverage a lot skimpier (it left the area where my toes attach to my foot exposed). Was it all in my head, or should I return them?
Hey, do these look alright?
They look uncomfortably tight. I can tell that they're squishing your foot. You're not actually going to wear those stripper shoes to work, are you?
No, of course not! I'm returning them. I just wanted to show you.
Great. They were stripper shoes, and I didn't even know it. I was kicking myself for not including them in my return shipment. Now I would have to pay postage all over again, and I didn't have another return label. So I called up Victoria's Secret customer service to find out how I would return these shoes without a return form which I'd sent off already the first time around. Simple solution - just print another return form from their website, fill out and go to the post office.
The only problem was that our printer was already boxed up and would stay boxed up for another week at least. I had a few days left to return the shoes or only be eligible for store credit. I'd have to print the form out at work and run to the post office down the street at lunch. Sounded convenient enough, but my concern was being caught printing out a Victoria's Secret return form from the office's shared printers. Initially, I'd resolved to print the form out after work when no one was around, but having moved to White Plains, I was now confined to a train schedule which made waiting for people to clear out inconvenient for my commute. So, I monitored the printers to find a time when no one seemed to be printing.
Meanwhile, I really needed a new pair of shoes, but had no time to shoe shop with the move happening. By now I'd been all over the city in my work shoes attending numerous after-work events so that my work shoes were looking worn and leaving painfully uncomfortable blisters. I tried my best not to walk too much around the office until the weekend came and I could shop.
Sitting at my desk working and trying to block out the pain in my feet, I noticed that the two nearest printers had gone quiet. People were done printing. I waited a couple of minutes for everyone to pick up their jobs and then logged onto the Victoria's Secret website to print out my return form. Taking a deep breath, I clicked on the print button and then...ready, set, go! Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
I made it to the printer only to discover that it went quiet because it was out of paper and stuck halfway through someone's print job. Crap! I've got to purge my job before my return form ends up in the middle of their report. Alright, calm down, they'll never know it belongs to me.
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. As I ran back to my desk, I noticed the girl who printed the report checking her print que for the report printing status. Back at my desk, I clicked open the print que and, to my horror, saw print job, victoriassecret.com, owner LANYTransplant directly beneath her report. Cancel, cancel, cancel! It was too late. I'm sure she saw. At least it was a girl.
I waited for her to refill the printer paper before re-submitting my print job and discreetly picked up my return form. All this to get $20 refunded to me minus the $5 it took to ship the shoes back...
Why so cheap? Because everything is cheap. All of the items were of such poor quality and ill fit that I ended up returning every item except for the cardigan. The shirtdress was huge on me, somewhat see-through and bore a striking resemblance to a lab coat. It just hung straight down with absolutely no shape. The PJ set was also huge (supposedly it should shrink to fit you after a wash or two) and felt like it would fall apart after a couple of washes. Yet, these items looked so fabulous in the catalogs, but I guess anything you put on a super tall, super skinny, ample chested woman with perfect skin and bone structure is bound to look great.
For some reason, though, I failed to notice that the closed-toed pumps that I bought for work looked like stripper shoes and didn't include them in my return shipment. About a month and a half later, I ran across the box of shoes as the Fiancee and I were packing things up for our move. I tried them on again and noticed that the heel was a lot higher than I remembered, the fit a lot tighter and the coverage a lot skimpier (it left the area where my toes attach to my foot exposed). Was it all in my head, or should I return them?
Hey, do these look alright?
They look uncomfortably tight. I can tell that they're squishing your foot. You're not actually going to wear those stripper shoes to work, are you?
No, of course not! I'm returning them. I just wanted to show you.
Great. They were stripper shoes, and I didn't even know it. I was kicking myself for not including them in my return shipment. Now I would have to pay postage all over again, and I didn't have another return label. So I called up Victoria's Secret customer service to find out how I would return these shoes without a return form which I'd sent off already the first time around. Simple solution - just print another return form from their website, fill out and go to the post office.
The only problem was that our printer was already boxed up and would stay boxed up for another week at least. I had a few days left to return the shoes or only be eligible for store credit. I'd have to print the form out at work and run to the post office down the street at lunch. Sounded convenient enough, but my concern was being caught printing out a Victoria's Secret return form from the office's shared printers. Initially, I'd resolved to print the form out after work when no one was around, but having moved to White Plains, I was now confined to a train schedule which made waiting for people to clear out inconvenient for my commute. So, I monitored the printers to find a time when no one seemed to be printing.
Meanwhile, I really needed a new pair of shoes, but had no time to shoe shop with the move happening. By now I'd been all over the city in my work shoes attending numerous after-work events so that my work shoes were looking worn and leaving painfully uncomfortable blisters. I tried my best not to walk too much around the office until the weekend came and I could shop.
Sitting at my desk working and trying to block out the pain in my feet, I noticed that the two nearest printers had gone quiet. People were done printing. I waited a couple of minutes for everyone to pick up their jobs and then logged onto the Victoria's Secret website to print out my return form. Taking a deep breath, I clicked on the print button and then...ready, set, go! Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.
I made it to the printer only to discover that it went quiet because it was out of paper and stuck halfway through someone's print job. Crap! I've got to purge my job before my return form ends up in the middle of their report. Alright, calm down, they'll never know it belongs to me.
Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. As I ran back to my desk, I noticed the girl who printed the report checking her print que for the report printing status. Back at my desk, I clicked open the print que and, to my horror, saw print job, victoriassecret.com, owner LANYTransplant directly beneath her report. Cancel, cancel, cancel! It was too late. I'm sure she saw. At least it was a girl.
I waited for her to refill the printer paper before re-submitting my print job and discreetly picked up my return form. All this to get $20 refunded to me minus the $5 it took to ship the shoes back...
posted by LANYTransplant at 6:39 PM
2 comments
