Fun Airplane Stories
Story #1
Background
Girl's good friend and old college roommate is getting married. Girl/Bridesmaid lives in New York, bride to be lives in Reno. Bridesmaid books ticket in order to arrive in Reno the morning before the wedding (August 4). There are no direct flights from JFK to RNO.
Scene
2:40AM (Aug. 4): Bridesmaid takes shuttle to airport to catch a 5:40AM flight going from JFK to Houston connecting on to Reno.
5:40AM: Entire plane is boarded. Either the flight crew forgot to fuel the plane the night before, or decided it was best to fuel the plane at 5:40AM when the plane should have departed. Flight crew informs everyone that they will be taking a few minutes to fuel the plane, and then depart shortly.
6:00AM: Bridesmaid is asleep on the plane which still hasn't left the gate. Bridesmaid is awakened as the man sitting next to her complains to the flight crew that he will miss his connecting flight. Bridesmaid asks the man if he is connecting to Reno. Man is connecting to Arizona, and confides that his numerous attempts to catch connections through Continental have all failed. Bridesmaid still holds out hope that everything will still run smoothly.
7:00AM: Plane still has not left the gate. They are having technical problems fueling the plane and need a mechanic. Continental does not have their own mechanic and must try to poach one off of Delta. Sensing that she's missed the only Continental flight of the day going from Houston to Reno, Bridesmaid freaks out and can't sleep anymore. Bridesmaid calls customer service to figure out alternate plans*.
7:45AM: Plane is fueled and takes off after only a two hour delay.
10:00AM: Plane arrives in Houston. Bridesmaid gets in line to receive Continental's best efforts to re-route everyone.
10:15AM: Customer service attempts to hand Bridesmaid a new ticket to fly out to Reno the next day, leaving the poor girl stranded in Houston overnight. Upon hearing that the airline's best offer would be to fly her out to Reno after the wedding is either well on its way, or worse, completely over, bridesmaid's face contorts into a nasty mix of emotions, prompting the customer service lady to withdraw the ticket before the bridesmaid can even reach out to take it. Customer service lady informs the bridesmaid that "it's too early for this" and states that she can probably get her out today, essentially warding off the dark clouds of a brewing tantrum.
10:30AM: Customer service makes the line disappear and then turns her attention to Bridesmaid. Customer service lady asks if Bridesmaid will accept a flight to Salt Lake City with a connecting flight to Reno. Elated, Bridesmaid accepts.
10:35AM: Customer service lady is having trouble securing the promised tickets, and discovers that the computer has booked the bridesmaid to fly to Salt Lake City and then to Reno for the next day. Bridesmaid's face begins to contort, and customer service lady quickly recommends trying to go through Phoenix.
10:45AM: Customer service lady books bridesmaid on an already overbooked flight to Phoenix connecting on to Reno. Bridesmaid nervously asks if her seat is confirmed and definite. Customer service lady assures Bridesmaid that her phantom seat is secured. Naive Bridesmaid is elated and goes on her way.
11:00AM: Bridesmaid is at the gate kiosk for the Phoenix flight and asks, as instructed by customer service, for "a seat to be forced through." Lady at kiosk states, "Force a seat through? This is an overbooked flight. There are no seats available. You don't have a seat. "
11:05AM: Bridesmaid begins telling sob story about missing good friend's wedding in Reno to kiosk lady who sort of cares, but not that much. Another kiosk lady tells bridesmaid to step aside. If someone happens to not show up, there will be a seat for Bridesmaid. Kiosk lady further offers $200 to anyone who will take the next flight to Phoenix. Two people need to accept in order for Bridesmaid to get on.
11:15AM: One person accepts. Bridesmaid is so nervous and distressed that she doesn't realize that the person waiting next to her is on the fence about accepting the flight bump. Person waiting next to Bridesmaid offers her a dollar in order to use her phone to contact his family(about accepting the flight bump). Generous Bridesmaid insists the person use her phone for free.
11:20AM: Bridesmaid hears phone user's conversation and realizes that he may be her ticket onto the flight. Phone user hangs up, thanks Bridesmaid without making any eye contact, and then goes up to the kiosk to inform the lady that he wishes to reclaim his ticket. He will not be accepting the flight bump. Bridesmaid wants to cry. The flight is completely boarded and should be leaving soon.
11:25AM: Kiosk lady doesn't want to completely crush Bridesmaid, so she tells her that she's still working on getting her a seat.
11:30AM: A straggler presents his ticket to board. Kiosk lady makes one last attempt to bump his flight for a $200 credit. Straggler asks if she's open to negotiate. Bridesmaid stares intently at the situation. Kiosk lady offers Straggler $400. Straggler accepts and Bridesmaid gets the last seat on the plane.
11:35AM: Overjoyed, Bridesmaid thanks Straggler profusely with a smile stretching from ear to ear. Kiosk lady prints out Bridesmaid's pass, and Bridesmaid happily trots over to ticket taker to present her pass.
11:40AM: Bridesmaid is in her seat, and on her way to Reno. Nothing can ruin her happiness.
11:55AM: Bridesmaid is munching on a pizza slice when the plane starts shaking violently. The wings are making lots of noise, and it sounds like things are falling off the plane. Bridesmaid sets down her pizza and then begins to hyperventilate, believing that the crappy Continental plane she's sitting on is going down.
12:00PM: The plane stabilizes. Bridesmaid wonders why the plane crew didn't make some sort of annoucement about turbulance at any point. Was the crew hoping that no one would notice the sonic boom/earthquake-in-the-air we just blew through? Bridesmaid later finds out that the Houston-Phoenix flight is an extremely bumpy one.
1:22PM: Bridesmaid catches flight from Phoenix to Reno.
3:10PM: Bridesmaid arrives in Reno and just makes it to the 4PM wedding rehearsal!
Deleted Scenes/Outtakes:
Entitled: Tales of Complete Stupidity
Bridesmaid (on the phone with customer service upon learning that she will miss her flight): Hello, I think I'm going to miss my connecting flight.
Customer service: What makes you think that?
Bridesmaid: I've been sitting on this runway for an hour and twenty minutes. Here's my confirmation number.
Customer service: Let me look that up. Hmm...uhhuh... You know what? I think you're going to miss your connecting flight. <--stupid comment
Bridesmaid: Can you check for me to see when the next available flight out to Reno is? I need to get to Reno sometime tonight. I'm in a wedding starting early tomorrow morning.
Customer service: You're not going to get anything from Houston to Reno today. You're going to have to fly out on the next available tomorrow.
Bridesmaid: I don't need a direct flight. I'll take any number of connections neccessary.
Customer service: Alright, I'll see if we can find other nondirect routes. <--Another stupid moment
Customer service: Hmmm...well, when you get into Houston, we have a flight you can connect onto Newark...
Uh-huh, I'm willing to bet every penny I own that I can get myself from JFK to Newark faster than your plane can get me there going through Houston.
Customer service: ...O! But that one will take you right back over to Houston. <--Does the stupidity ever stop?
Story #2
Background
Bridesmaid's good friend has successfully gotten married and thrown a wonderful wedding party. She is now Mrs. Bride and set to go on her honeymoon with Mr. Bride to Tahiti early the next morning. 2 bridesmaids and another wedding guest/friend are set to fly to LA early the next morning. Neither party knows that both parties will be at the airport at the same time.
Scene
Bridesmaids and guest are waiting to board their 8:55AM Southwest flight from Reno to LA. All flights going from Reno to LA are completely booked for the day, as everyone is leaving Reno after the Hot August Nights Classic Car Convention.
Bridesmaid #2 spots a veil on the back of an Asian girl at the nearby Delta terminal, and asks Bridesmaid #1, "Is that Mrs. Bride over there?"
Bridesmaid #1: "No, of course not! What would Mrs. Bride be doing at the airport all dressed up in her wedding gown and veil? No."
Bridesmaid #2: But it really looks like her.
Bridesmaid #1: Yeah, it does sort of look like her.
Mrs. Bride turns her head a bit, showing her profile and confirming that she is Mrs. Bride! Bridesmaid #2 runs over to Mrs. Bride to say hi, and Bridesmaid #1 stays behind to watch the luggage and save their place in line.
Bridesmaid #1 watches as Bridesmaid #2 and Mrs. Bride hug. Mrs. Bride starts crying uncontrollably. The honeymoon was booked incorrectly. Since there are no direct flights to ANYWHERE out of Reno, the honeymoon was booked to fly from Reno to LA and then from LA to Tahiti. The Reno-LA leg was accidentally booked for the day before.
With all of the flights out of Reno to LA being overbooked, Mr. & Mrs. Bride give up hope of catching their Tahiti flight for the honeymoon...until she runs into two bridesmaids and guest who all have the necessary tickets to get to LA.
Frazzled honeymooners, bridesmaids and guest proceed to transfer their tickets. Mrs. Bride checks that 2 Bridesmaids and guest are ok to leave Reno the next day. Mrs. Bride thinks to book a rental car for Bridesmaids and guest.
The flight is halfway boarded when two random people don't show up for their flight, opening up the two seats necessary for Mr. & Mrs. Bride to get to LA. Tickets no longer need to be transferred, everyone gets a seat, and they all live happily ever after.
Background
Girl's good friend and old college roommate is getting married. Girl/Bridesmaid lives in New York, bride to be lives in Reno. Bridesmaid books ticket in order to arrive in Reno the morning before the wedding (August 4). There are no direct flights from JFK to RNO.
Scene
2:40AM (Aug. 4): Bridesmaid takes shuttle to airport to catch a 5:40AM flight going from JFK to Houston connecting on to Reno.
5:40AM: Entire plane is boarded. Either the flight crew forgot to fuel the plane the night before, or decided it was best to fuel the plane at 5:40AM when the plane should have departed. Flight crew informs everyone that they will be taking a few minutes to fuel the plane, and then depart shortly.
6:00AM: Bridesmaid is asleep on the plane which still hasn't left the gate. Bridesmaid is awakened as the man sitting next to her complains to the flight crew that he will miss his connecting flight. Bridesmaid asks the man if he is connecting to Reno. Man is connecting to Arizona, and confides that his numerous attempts to catch connections through Continental have all failed. Bridesmaid still holds out hope that everything will still run smoothly.
7:00AM: Plane still has not left the gate. They are having technical problems fueling the plane and need a mechanic. Continental does not have their own mechanic and must try to poach one off of Delta. Sensing that she's missed the only Continental flight of the day going from Houston to Reno, Bridesmaid freaks out and can't sleep anymore. Bridesmaid calls customer service to figure out alternate plans*.
7:45AM: Plane is fueled and takes off after only a two hour delay.
10:00AM: Plane arrives in Houston. Bridesmaid gets in line to receive Continental's best efforts to re-route everyone.
10:15AM: Customer service attempts to hand Bridesmaid a new ticket to fly out to Reno the next day, leaving the poor girl stranded in Houston overnight. Upon hearing that the airline's best offer would be to fly her out to Reno after the wedding is either well on its way, or worse, completely over, bridesmaid's face contorts into a nasty mix of emotions, prompting the customer service lady to withdraw the ticket before the bridesmaid can even reach out to take it. Customer service lady informs the bridesmaid that "it's too early for this" and states that she can probably get her out today, essentially warding off the dark clouds of a brewing tantrum.
10:30AM: Customer service makes the line disappear and then turns her attention to Bridesmaid. Customer service lady asks if Bridesmaid will accept a flight to Salt Lake City with a connecting flight to Reno. Elated, Bridesmaid accepts.
10:35AM: Customer service lady is having trouble securing the promised tickets, and discovers that the computer has booked the bridesmaid to fly to Salt Lake City and then to Reno for the next day. Bridesmaid's face begins to contort, and customer service lady quickly recommends trying to go through Phoenix.
10:45AM: Customer service lady books bridesmaid on an already overbooked flight to Phoenix connecting on to Reno. Bridesmaid nervously asks if her seat is confirmed and definite. Customer service lady assures Bridesmaid that her phantom seat is secured. Naive Bridesmaid is elated and goes on her way.
11:00AM: Bridesmaid is at the gate kiosk for the Phoenix flight and asks, as instructed by customer service, for "a seat to be forced through." Lady at kiosk states, "Force a seat through? This is an overbooked flight. There are no seats available. You don't have a seat. "
11:05AM: Bridesmaid begins telling sob story about missing good friend's wedding in Reno to kiosk lady who sort of cares, but not that much. Another kiosk lady tells bridesmaid to step aside. If someone happens to not show up, there will be a seat for Bridesmaid. Kiosk lady further offers $200 to anyone who will take the next flight to Phoenix. Two people need to accept in order for Bridesmaid to get on.
11:15AM: One person accepts. Bridesmaid is so nervous and distressed that she doesn't realize that the person waiting next to her is on the fence about accepting the flight bump. Person waiting next to Bridesmaid offers her a dollar in order to use her phone to contact his family(about accepting the flight bump). Generous Bridesmaid insists the person use her phone for free.
11:20AM: Bridesmaid hears phone user's conversation and realizes that he may be her ticket onto the flight. Phone user hangs up, thanks Bridesmaid without making any eye contact, and then goes up to the kiosk to inform the lady that he wishes to reclaim his ticket. He will not be accepting the flight bump. Bridesmaid wants to cry. The flight is completely boarded and should be leaving soon.
11:25AM: Kiosk lady doesn't want to completely crush Bridesmaid, so she tells her that she's still working on getting her a seat.
11:30AM: A straggler presents his ticket to board. Kiosk lady makes one last attempt to bump his flight for a $200 credit. Straggler asks if she's open to negotiate. Bridesmaid stares intently at the situation. Kiosk lady offers Straggler $400. Straggler accepts and Bridesmaid gets the last seat on the plane.
11:35AM: Overjoyed, Bridesmaid thanks Straggler profusely with a smile stretching from ear to ear. Kiosk lady prints out Bridesmaid's pass, and Bridesmaid happily trots over to ticket taker to present her pass.
11:40AM: Bridesmaid is in her seat, and on her way to Reno. Nothing can ruin her happiness.
11:55AM: Bridesmaid is munching on a pizza slice when the plane starts shaking violently. The wings are making lots of noise, and it sounds like things are falling off the plane. Bridesmaid sets down her pizza and then begins to hyperventilate, believing that the crappy Continental plane she's sitting on is going down.
12:00PM: The plane stabilizes. Bridesmaid wonders why the plane crew didn't make some sort of annoucement about turbulance at any point. Was the crew hoping that no one would notice the sonic boom/earthquake-in-the-air we just blew through? Bridesmaid later finds out that the Houston-Phoenix flight is an extremely bumpy one.
1:22PM: Bridesmaid catches flight from Phoenix to Reno.
3:10PM: Bridesmaid arrives in Reno and just makes it to the 4PM wedding rehearsal!
Deleted Scenes/Outtakes:
Entitled: Tales of Complete Stupidity
Bridesmaid (on the phone with customer service upon learning that she will miss her flight): Hello, I think I'm going to miss my connecting flight.
Customer service: What makes you think that?
Bridesmaid: I've been sitting on this runway for an hour and twenty minutes. Here's my confirmation number.
Customer service: Let me look that up. Hmm...uhhuh... You know what? I think you're going to miss your connecting flight. <--stupid comment
Bridesmaid: Can you check for me to see when the next available flight out to Reno is? I need to get to Reno sometime tonight. I'm in a wedding starting early tomorrow morning.
Customer service: You're not going to get anything from Houston to Reno today. You're going to have to fly out on the next available tomorrow.
Bridesmaid: I don't need a direct flight. I'll take any number of connections neccessary.
Customer service: Alright, I'll see if we can find other nondirect routes. <--Another stupid moment
Customer service: Hmmm...well, when you get into Houston, we have a flight you can connect onto Newark...
Uh-huh, I'm willing to bet every penny I own that I can get myself from JFK to Newark faster than your plane can get me there going through Houston.
Customer service: ...O! But that one will take you right back over to Houston. <--Does the stupidity ever stop?
Story #2
Background
Bridesmaid's good friend has successfully gotten married and thrown a wonderful wedding party. She is now Mrs. Bride and set to go on her honeymoon with Mr. Bride to Tahiti early the next morning. 2 bridesmaids and another wedding guest/friend are set to fly to LA early the next morning. Neither party knows that both parties will be at the airport at the same time.
Scene
Bridesmaids and guest are waiting to board their 8:55AM Southwest flight from Reno to LA. All flights going from Reno to LA are completely booked for the day, as everyone is leaving Reno after the Hot August Nights Classic Car Convention.
Bridesmaid #2 spots a veil on the back of an Asian girl at the nearby Delta terminal, and asks Bridesmaid #1, "Is that Mrs. Bride over there?"
Bridesmaid #1: "No, of course not! What would Mrs. Bride be doing at the airport all dressed up in her wedding gown and veil? No."
Bridesmaid #2: But it really looks like her.
Bridesmaid #1: Yeah, it does sort of look like her.
Mrs. Bride turns her head a bit, showing her profile and confirming that she is Mrs. Bride! Bridesmaid #2 runs over to Mrs. Bride to say hi, and Bridesmaid #1 stays behind to watch the luggage and save their place in line.
Bridesmaid #1 watches as Bridesmaid #2 and Mrs. Bride hug. Mrs. Bride starts crying uncontrollably. The honeymoon was booked incorrectly. Since there are no direct flights to ANYWHERE out of Reno, the honeymoon was booked to fly from Reno to LA and then from LA to Tahiti. The Reno-LA leg was accidentally booked for the day before.
With all of the flights out of Reno to LA being overbooked, Mr. & Mrs. Bride give up hope of catching their Tahiti flight for the honeymoon...until she runs into two bridesmaids and guest who all have the necessary tickets to get to LA.
Frazzled honeymooners, bridesmaids and guest proceed to transfer their tickets. Mrs. Bride checks that 2 Bridesmaids and guest are ok to leave Reno the next day. Mrs. Bride thinks to book a rental car for Bridesmaids and guest.
The flight is halfway boarded when two random people don't show up for their flight, opening up the two seats necessary for Mr. & Mrs. Bride to get to LA. Tickets no longer need to be transferred, everyone gets a seat, and they all live happily ever after.
posted by LANYTransplant at 4:02 PM
2 Comments:
wow! sounds like i missed one hell of a party! damn it! :)
you're such the storyteller (and blogger)! but, i love hearing your stories (and seeing the accompanying pictures!). i can't believe that you actually wrote this entry after that tiring morning! crazy! i should make an amendment to your story with mine about trying to hold onto the 5 seats inside the airplane. "P
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